Recently, I got the chance to visit the zoo & learned something about my life!

I entered a dark cave meant to give visitors a sneak peek under-water at the Hungry Hungry Hippos, taking a dip in the pond. (eating, pooping, just like in the wild!)

As I entered, I looked around the “cave” & saw the chance to fill my water bottle with lukewarm zoo water at the water fountain. In the corner, I noticed a lady with a microphone, realizing she was addressing the crowd through some overhead speakers in the cave. No one was paying attention to her because she was speaking in monotone & was positioned out of everyone’s sight line. What she was sharing was informative, but she was clearly bored with saying the same things everyday for hours at a time whilst people carried on their own conversations.

I asked myself: In what areas of your life, family & ministry have you felt bored & unimportant, saying the same things over & over again without variety, life, energy, passion & clarity?

I had to come to grips with the fact that I had become too familiar with the routine of life that I got bored in many areas. I needed to pray & ask God to give me new vision, passion & joy for my life, marriage, parenting, etc. I had to avoid the tendency to try harder & make things different. Instead, I needed to yield to His Spirit to restore my joy!

Our employees, co-workers, spouses & children (all of those under our influence) a lot of times, will follow our lead & slowly slip into this heaviness too. They will also respond positively to our new found joy!

As Christmas draws near, avoid the tendency to “work up” the Christmas Spirit & make yourself “feel” joy. Ask God for a new passion for life & just receive it. It will spread all around, much like the smell of Hippo poop in a dark cave at the zoo.

In 1789, following a proclamation issued by President George Washington, America celebrated its first Day of Thanksgiving to God under its new constitution & the tradition still remains.

It’s time to be thankful & Thanksgiving break is a great time to use some teachable moments to connect with our children.

Try to take some time off this week while the kids are out of school & reconnect with their hearts.

Take ‘em to breakfast, plan to have dessert for dinner, have a family movie night, play charades, go on a family outing, pray for troubled family members you’ll be seeing on Thanksgiving Day, take a walk together, gather as a family for prayer & shout out 5 things you’re thankful for!

Make this season one of celebration & joy as a family!

Regime. Noun. A system or style of government.

Our family has just undergone a regime change. This simply means a big change in the government that we as parents, and they as children, had gotten used to.

As time goes by, standards slip, rules change, resistance is worn down, behavior goes unchecked, negative habits develop.

Recently, we woke up to the fact that our standards for our children’s behavior had slipped & we hadn’t even noticed! Dirty clothes were being left on the floor, cups & plates were strewn all over, speech was rude & negative; our home was out of balance!

It was time for a Regime Change – a new from of government to emerge. My kids called it boot camp because of the sudden change of what was expected of them.

So, if you find that the atmosphere of your home doesn’t reflect your values, maybe it’s time for a change. Here’s what we did:

1. State the Obvious: Call the family together & let them know that you have noticed a change in the atmosphere of your home; that things are out of whack & that it’s NOT THEIR FAULT. (It’s your fault as a parent for letting those standards slip)

2. Repent for lack of leadership. This left them feeling uncovered & insecure (since boundaries & consistency in leadership provide safety & security for kids)

3. Declare a New Regime! Let them know that you’ll be tightening up on the reigns for a bit until the family gets back on track.

Take that old dusty chore chart off of the refrigerator & revamp it. Let all of the children graduate to some bigger responsibilities around the house. Make up a new code of conduct for honoring & serving other family members with clearly defined expectations, & consequences for missing the mark.

Set new standards! List the areas that you’ve been nagging & complaining to your kids about & take action! Let them know you are doing this so that they can grow into maturity. Don’t become harsh, critical, or overly emotional. Just be matter of fact. “We need a change. This is what it’s gonna take to get us there. These are our expectations. We’re doing this because we love you!”

Here’s an example: Junior has been leaving his backpack on the kitchen table since the 2nd day of school. It annoys you. You’ve been whining about it. Create a new regime rule that states, “No more backpacks on the kitchen table. If this happens, you will have a loss of privilege!” When Junior leaves it there tomorrow, calmly walk into his room & say, “Junior, you left your backpack on the table. That’s no longer acceptable. You lose computer privileges until you can obey this rule.” If he complains, let him know, “Hey, it’s the new regime! I love you, buddy, but that’s the way it is!”

Make sure you & your spouse are in agreement & create a new regime. Your kids will feel safer & you’ll feel much happier!

The holiday season is fast approaching, making it a great time to serve the community as a family!

Here are Family Firsts’ 50 Ways for Your Family to Make a Difference!

1. Babysit for a single mom

2. Bake cookies for your local fire dept.

3. Pick up trash at local park as a family field trip

4. Welcome a new family to the neighborhood with a dessert & introduction

5. Make a baby care kit for a baby in need

6. Appreciate your church staff in some small, tangible
way

7. Do yard work for an elderly neighbor

8. Give a gift to a child in Foster Care

9. Save loose change in a jar and give to a needy family at Christmas

10. Stop & say thank you to grocery clerks, waitresses.

11. Make a birthday cake for an underprivileged child

12. Serve at home: make each other’s beds, clean up someone else’s mess

13. Write thank you notes to people who serve you: postman, yard guy, doctor, etc

14. Sponsor a child monthly

15. Make relief kits for disaster relief victims

16. Make up some Hygiene Bags to pass out to local homeless people

17. Put a monthly date on the calendar for a Family Service Night

18. Encourage your older children to be a Mother’s Helper to a mom with young kids

19. Make birthday cards and deliver them to a local nursing home monthly

20. Take your kids to a local Food Pantry with canned goods to donate

21. Deliver food for Meals on Wheels

22. Pray as a family on a regular basis for the people in your life.

23. Give blood. (Take your kids with you & explain the importance)

24. Donate nice toys to cancer ward at a Children’s Hospital

25. Randomly celebrate each other with a special treat, meal, time

26. Donate school supplies to a classroom in need

27. Compliment and thank the teachers in your life

28. Give a used bike to a homeless person

29. Donate coloring books/crayons to hospital emergency rooms

30. Have a 24 hour fast in your home (fast something & pray for the hungry)

31. Give clothes to a family in need (call your church/school to find one)

32. Give a donation in someone’s name to an organization you believe in

33. Decorate a Christmas tree at an elderly person’s house

34. Hold a collection drive: makeup, lotions, etc for women at a shelter

35. Plan a family mission trip

36. Hold a drive for lightly-used stuffed animals for police stations SAFE program

37. Write letters to servicemen

38. Smile. At everyone.

39. Send a care package to our military

40. Let kids choose a charity to donate to for one of their Christmas gifts

41. Become a foster family

42. Pay for someone’s coffee in the Starbuck’s drive-thru

43. Help your kids start a neighborhood or school Bible Study with their peers

44. Volunteer to plant flowers for your school/church flowerbeds

45. Adopt a child

46. Welcome home a hero at the airport

47. Complain less

48. Look for opportunities to be the difference in someone’s life

49. Pay the toll for the car behind you

50. Participate in Operation Christmas Child

Whatever you do to serve others as a family, you’re learning together how to make a difference!

I remember the saying when I was a kid: “Children should be seen & not heard.” You don’t have to be a genius to realize the utter silliness of that statement.

Now, many adults have a hard time sharing their feelings because they were never taught by their parents how to say what needs to be said while honoring the person they’re speaking to. (The Bible would call this “speaking the truth, in love”)

While I am a proponent of children being given opportunities to share their true feelings on a multitude of issues, I also feel that this can be taken too far.

Children should at times be included in conversations between adults, be asked to form & share an opinion, be asked key questions, & be expected to “weigh in” on family discussions.

But, this concept gets out hand when adults can’t have a conversation without a child interrupting, when parents become afraid to make a decision about family life without consulting Junior, when toddlers are permitted to wildly voice their objections in the parking lot of the grocery store, when teenagers are allowed to criticize Mom & Dad’s parenting techniques in front of others, when Susie overturns her dinner plate at Grandma’s house because she “doesn’t like potatoes cooked that way”.

What I’m saying is that the “sharing your true feelings” concept, taken to the extreme, produces ENTITLEMENT, which leads to problems later in life.

Instead, let’s teach our children that it’s OK to freely share their thoughts when appropriate – in the right setting, at the right time & in proper order, showing respect to parents & other adults and learning when to bite their tongue when sharing them would do more harm than good.

So… sharing their true feelings? GOOD.

Sharing ALL of their feelings, ALL of the time? NOT SO GOOD.

They will learn to have balance, if we teach them.

Fall is a great time for Family Fun. Check out some of these ideas from familyfumnshop.com:

1. Visit an Amusement Park (Try out Legoland, FL opening this Saturday)

2. Ride Bikes

3. Go on a Boat Ride (canoeing, rafting, or paddle boating)

4. Bowling

5. Broom Hockey (Use old brooms for sticks & a squishy ball for a puck)

6. Camping at Home (Put up a small tent indoors or out in the backyard. Cook your food on the grill)

7. Camping Trip Away

8. Compliment Night (Give everyone in the family a piece of paper and have them write 3 nice things about everyone in the family. When the compliment writing is finished, take turns reading the compliments about each member of the family)

9. Create Family Holidays & Traditions For Significant Family Events (Celebrate accomplishments, happy times, & other remarkable family occasions. Mark these family holidays on your calendar & celebrate them as you would other holidays. Add your own traditions to make the new holidays memorable)

10. Movie Night

11. Dollar Store or Yard Sale Treasure Hunt (Spend a few bucks once in a while, & take the family on an inexpensive treasure hunt. You will be surprised at the treasures you can bring back from dollar stores & yard sales)

12. Emergency Plan Drill (Prepare an emergency plan for your household that includes what to do and where everyone should meet if an emergency should happen)

13. Family Funathon or Sabbath (Plan several events that will fill the day with fun & have as much family fun as you can)

14. Go on a Family Walk

15. Feed Ducks or Pigeons

16. Go Fishing

17. Frisbee Games (Frisbee Golf, Frisbee Horseshoes, etc.)

18. Game Night

19. Make a Birdfeeder or Birdhouse

20. Go see a Play

21. Go to a Local Carnival (Novemberfest at Nativity Catholic Church in Brandon)

22. Go to a Sports Event

23. Go Hiking

24. Go Skating / Ice Skating

25. Make Indoor Blanket Tents (Bring all of the chairs you can find into one room. Set chairs next to one another as walls of your tent. Drape large blankets over the chairs as the roof of the tent)

26. Play Kickball, Tag Football or Soccer as a Family

27. Host a Flying Day (Kites, Planes, & Rockets)

28. Play Laser Tag @ Ice Sports Forum, Brandon

29. Visit the Library

30. Listen to your family’s favorite music

31. Make Dinner Together

32. Mini-Golf

33. Visit a Museum, Zoo, Aquarium, or Botanical Garden

34. Go out to a Movie

35. Picnic at a Local Park or at Home

36. Play Charades

37. Play Hide & Seek

38. Look at Family Pictures or watch Family Videos

39. Room Decorating & Painting

40. Skits/Plays

41. Star Gazing

42. Train Ride (Parish, FL)

43. Visit Relatives

44. Watch a Sunset or Sunrise

Whatever you choose to do, have fun together! You’ll make memories that will last a lifetime!

Albert Einstein said, “It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression & knowledge”

We’re just a few weeks into the school year. How’s it going with your child’s teachers? Are they bringing out the joy of knowledge in your child? Here are a few thoughts on how to improve your child’s connection with their teachers:

ASK your child to write down the names of their teachers & identify which ones they are doing well with & which ones they’re having trouble with. For the “well with” category, ask them what they like about them. This will help you identify which types of teachers they learn from best & what their learning style might be. For the “trouble” category, ask them what the problem is. Make sure your child is not just annoyed by the teachers’ personality or the work load they ask of them. Narrow down the true trouble situations & brainstorm possible solutions to each. Offer suggestions that could improve the situation then follow up to see how it’s going.

PRAY that God will continue to build strong, positive connections between your child & their teachers. Pray that God would give that teacher a heart for your child, wisdom to bring out the best in them, strength & endurance for their task.

BLESS them! Teachers are people too. (This is confirmed by that strange experience you had as a kid, when you saw your teacher out in public somewhere other than at school — CREEPY!) We gotta remember that teachers go through the crud of life just like everybody else & are expected to muddle through it with a smile on their face. Maybe the reason why that teacher is as grumpy as a rhino with a rash is because they’re battling their own fatigue, boredom, loneliness, depression, insecurity. Bless them by speaking the opposite of the negative patterns you see into their life.

SERVE them by smiling at them, baking for them (apples on their desk are “old school” since the whole “glass-filled apples on Halloween” fiasco), encouraging them, buying them a gift card, volunteering, & helping your child do well in their class.

Pray that they will have joy as they bring out the joy in your kids!

As some of my young-lings (OK, 2 of them are teenagers) have trotted off to school these past few weeks, I have engaged them in one of my morning traditions, as taught to me by our Pastor.

As we drive through traffic, fighting off the grumpiness that accompanies exhaustion, I begin! “Goooooood Moooornin’ Holy Spirit!” My son chimes in, “What do you have for me today!?” My other son joins, “It’s gotta be good!” My 2 kindergartners shout in agreement. Guess what? Our family just encountered God together!

This practice has them starting out their day knowing that whatever happens, the Holy Spirit is there with them, even in them!

Another great tradition is to lay my hands on each of them & pronounce a blessing! “Lord, I bless my son with favor, confidence, protection, understanding! I bless my little girl with acceptance, confidence & wisdom! May they be protected by your angels today! In Jesus Name!”

You may feel strange at first, maybe even unworthy. That’s OK. Do it anyway! Remember, this is how the people of Israel blessed their children. Our Heavenly Father blessed His Son at His baptism – “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased!” Jacob blessed his grandsons (Joseph’s boys) & he had made his share of mistakes. If he can do it, you can dooooiiiit! God uses our declaration to do powerful things in our kid’s lives!

Try it tomorrow morning. Put yourself out there & watch God bless you as you bless them!

You ever walk into a place & get a funny feeling?

That’s because of Atmosphere. Most homes & business have a certain feeling attached to them. (A feeling of sadness, happiness, stress, anger, etc)

We are frequent diners at McDonalds. The atmosphere is very different there depending on what time it is & who the manager on duty is. Breakfast before work / school is pretty tense. Lunch is generally festive. Dinner is usually laid back. Late night hours are a little creepy. Some managers set an atmosphere of order & some of stressful chaos, depending on how tight of a ship they run. When they set an expectation of excellence, they get it. If the employees are free to do whatever they want, chaos reigns supreme.

The Dance Studio our kids attend has a serious & disciplined atmosphere. It’s not stuffy or rigid, just serious. Other studios did not get our applications because many of them had an atmosphere of disorder – the old “Nobody’s in charge around here!” feeling.

Our homes have an atmosphere too. That’s why it’s important for us to be balanced when dealing with our children. We need to make sure we guard against operating in the extremes. On one side, we shouldn’t be overly harsh or rigid with them to the point they have no decisions & no freedoms. But we also need to beware of what I would call a “willy-nilly” approach to parenting, where anything goes. No rules, just right is a good slogan for Outback, but not for our homes.

We cannot give into the belief that order brings heaviness & rigidity. Don’t buy the lie that if we have any rules, our kids will rebel. The truth is, providing an atmosphere of order prevents chaos & brings our children security. Deep down, though they resist schedules & guidelines, they do appreciate & take comfort in the fact that they have someone to answer to – someone that will bring them back on track if they lose their way. That’s our job as parents. We provide wide open spaces (inside of fences) – room to run inside of well-defined boundaries, until they’re ready to run on their own.

We can do this by setting a tone that is a good balance between work & fun, responsibility & recreation, love & discipline. It’s all about atmosphere!

In my last blog, I wrote about Family Strengths.

If we could just focus on the positives, that would be great. But we can’t, because just as families have strengths, they also have strongholds.

I would describe strongholds as habits, weaknesses, or negative patterns that you see not only in your immediate family, but also in past generations.

I mentioned that one of our family strengths was worship expression. With that strength, our family has to be on guard against pride & performance (trying to make ourselves appear like we are in control, like we have it all together; the need to perform for or impress others to make ourselves look good.) I have to remember that the praise team was the first group to get kicked out of heaven because of pride. Our family has to remain humble.

We also need to guard against becoming overly emotional in our reactions to things. Since God has given our family a strength in expressing our emotions, we need to make sure the enemy is not taking that strength to the extreme by getting us to come unglued in our emotions (overly critical, angry, silly, sad, etc.)

So, to determine your family strongholds, start by researching past generations to see if any negative behavior has been reoccurring (divorce, strife, financial failure, sickness, addictions, etc.) Declare that those patterns have to stop now, they will not continue & they will not affect your family, your children or future generations, in Jesus name! (Make sure you say this out loud)

Next, study your immediate family & identify negative patterns & behavior. Many times, your greatest weakness is your greatest strength taken to the extreme, or anything that keeps you from walking in those strengths.

Pray & ask God to show you those strongholds, to break them by His power & give you anointing to walk in your strengths!